> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.earwaxmag.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # EAR•WAX Magazine: Volume 1, Issue 3 - URL: https://www.earwaxmag.com/ear-wax-magazine-volume-1-issue-3/ - Published: 2026-09-23T13:45:49.000Z - Updated: 2026-09-23T13:45:48.000Z - Author: EAR•WAX Magazine Transcript below. Find the episode on your favorite podcatcher: [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/episode/7eRCyuoLm2eiBlElPGDOtr?ref=earwaxmag.com) [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-wax-magazine-volume-1-issue-3/id1896901141?i=1000791279951&ref=earwaxmag.com) [Pocket Casts](https://pocketcasts.com/podcast/earwax-magazine/3038cf80-4c78-013f-17af-0affc24a29f5/earwax-magazine-volume-1-issue-3/1d4f8b3b-a93f-41e0-b43e-e11261839614?ref=earwaxmag.com) [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of5F%5Ft2Bic0&ref=earwaxmag.com) --- # EAR•WAX Magazine Volume 1, Issue 3 — Episode Transcript Runtime 1:00:47 · Released: September 23, 2026 ## **Speakers** | Speaker | Who / where they appear | | ----------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | | Jordan Stillman | Main EarWax host: reads the rundown, segment intros, the Wooden Overcoats pick, and the credits. Not named on air. | | Jeff Van Dreason | “Professor Van Dreason”: the Doomed lecture, the Depressed Horse review, For Further Reading, and roundtable moderator. | | Oliver Morris | “Ollie” / “Professor Morris”: the MF Doom lecture, the Patreon break, the Gay Future pick, and the roundtable. | | Max Kreisky | Guest editorial on writing comedy (True Tales of the Illuminati). | | Wil Williams | Roundtable: the Charli XCX expert. | | Bee Lidstone, Adam Cecil, Jordan Stillman | The other roundtable voices. The host names Adam Cecil, Bee Lidstone and Jordan Stillman as panelists. Adam also gives the This Is Branchburg pick, and Jordan provides her pick for Wooden Overcoats. | | Hannah Wright and Rhianna Stephenson | Unnamed writers who give the Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason and Fawkes and Stallion picks. | | Eric Propp | Voice of the opening Holy Roller promo. | | TH Ponders | Voice of “Starbucks in Blue” (credited to T.H. Ponders as writer and producer). | | PA Announcer / Neil Johnson | The school-PA voice that opens the Depressed Horse review. | --- ## **Contents** 00:00:00 Promo: Holy Roller 00:00:46 Opening Ident 00:01:00 “Starbucks in Blue” by T.H. Ponders 00:05:02 In This Issue 00:06:11 Editorial: Why You Should Write Comedy, by Max Kreisky 00:16:16 Professor Van Driesen Discusses Open Mike Eagle’s Doomed 00:19:16 Sad Girl Summer, Part 1: Roundtable 00:30:00 Patreon Break 00:30:49 Five Comedy Audio Fiction Funnies 00:35:05 Review: Depressed Horse 00:40:00 Professor Morris Discusses MF Doom 00:42:30 For Further Reading: Best New Songs of August 00:45:29 Sad Girl Summer, Part 2: Roundtable 00:57:08 Wrap-Up 00:57:28 Run for Cover: “Coat of Many Colors” (Dolly Parton original) 00:58:47 Credits 01:00:08 Run for Cover: “Coat of Many Colors” (Sierra Ferrell cover) 01:00:32 Outtake # **\[00:00:00\] Promo: Holy Roller** **Eric Propp:** When heavy metal vampires unknowingly resurrect their namesake, Vampooza. A sexy ancient vampress with mind control powers. The fate of the world is put into the hands of Sister Margaret. A woman of God with a secret past. She, along with her plucky postulant underlings and boss, Mother Mary, must work with \[unclear\], a centuries-old vampire guitarist with a flair for the dramatic. Can they stop a supernatural groupie army with old-fashioned ass kicking and a supercharged secret weapon? Only time will tell. Holy Roller is a comedy horror film by Eric Prof. Currently in production with Prop Shop and Another Age Production. Their Indiegogo campaign is now live. Like your life depends on it. *\[Music sting.\]* # **\[00:00:46\] Sonic Branding - EAR•WAX Magazine** *\[Sonic branding: a voice says “EarWax Magazine” over music.\]* *\[A brief burst of applause-like sound.\]* # **\[00:01:00\] “Starbucks in Blue” by T.H. Ponders** *\[Blues guitar music begins and plays under the narration.\]* **TH Ponders:** You may not associate a Starbucks in the suburbs with good motions in the body. Maybe not even good feelings. The Starbucks isn't really the important part. It's the song that comes on the radio. Not even the song. The changes. *\[The music swells. A voice counts beats over the music, partly inaudible (“One… five… four…”).\]* **TH Ponders:** Bring it back home. When I was in high school, was dragged one night to a blues dance. I haven't stopped dancing since. One of the nice things about blues dancing is that there aren't any fancy patterns or big movements. Blues dancing can be as big as leaping up in the air and landing with a thud, or as small as wiggling your big toe. *\[The music swells.\]* **TH Ponders:** \[unclear\] each beat, find a part of your body to take. Playing with it letting the pulse of the music and the pulse of your own heartbeat. Why do you ever so slightly. When I dance, I feel like I'm transported somewhere else. Where? not only my movement is correct, but my body correct. Everything feels like it belongs here. Like it can all work together. Be what I want it to be which is sometimes a rare feeling. Not when the blues music is playing. *\[The music swells. A voice counts beats over the music, partly inaudible.\]* **TH Ponders:** Back home in Starbucks for now. *\[The music fades out into a radio-static transition.\]* # **\[00:05:02\] In This Issue** **Jordan Stillman:** EarWax Magazine. Volume one. Issue 3\. In this issue. An editorial on why you should write and make comedy by Max Kreisky. Professor Van Driesen discusses Open Mike Eagle's Doomed with the class. Sad Girl Summer, Part 1: a roundtable discussion of three summer albums with EarWax writers. The best comedy audio fiction podcasts ever, picked by our writers. A review of the micro audio fiction podcast Depressed Horse by Jeff Van Driesen. Professor Morris discusses MF Doom with the class. For Further Reading: a Best New Songs of August mixtape. Sad Girl Summer, Part 2: part 2 of our chat on You Seem Pretty Sad for a Girl So in Love, Music, Fashion, Film, and Lost Weekend. Our monthly Run for Cover cover battle: “Coat of Many Colors,” originally performed by Dolly Parton, and a cover version by Sierra Ferrell. # **\[00:06:11\] Editorial: Why You Should Write Comedy, by Max Kreisky** **Jordan:** Here's Max Kreisky of True Tales of the Illuminati and Wizard Seeking Wizard on why you should try to lighten up and make more comedy. *\[A drum-machine beat kicks in, then continues quietly under the editorial.\]* **MAX KREISKY:** When I say that I write comedy in an audio drama meetup, the sentiment that almost always greets me is, oh, I could never do that. People think it's too hard, or they don't think they're funny, or they think that they can't be funny on purpose. In one notable instance, someone said to me, oh, humor is so personal. What I like about horror is that everyone is scared of an axe. Friend, I am not scared of an axe. What scares me is not the idea of someone with an axe killing me. It's how you convey your fear of someone killing you with an axe. Can you bring me into your character's head? Make me see what they see, feel what they feel. That's, you know, what makes a story work. And it's what makes comedy work too. Yes, humor is personal, but guess what? So is every other art form and genre. Everything that you express is personal to you and the trick of art is communicating that to another person. Here's a joke from the great Groucho Marx. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Here is how this joke works. You have a setup that establishes the base reality and set of expectations within which your idea is operating. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. This plays on the saying, dog is man's best friend, a common aphorism here in the West. We are comparing book to dog and finding that a book almost, but not quite, matches the companionship of a dog. Then you give the audience a moment to make an assumption about how this idea will end. In this case, we have the noble period ending one sentence and showing that it is a complete idea before the next idea starts with the following sentence. In a sketch or scene, you might have a silence, an action of some kind, so on and so forth. I find that roughly two to three seconds is a good earmark for most comedic timing. **MAX KREISKY:** You should experiment and find what works for you. Then you subvert that idea in a way that shows a consistent worldview that your audience understands. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. We now see that the statement is not that a book is almost as good as a dog for providing companionship, but that it is the preferred choice at all times, and that rather than outside being an exclusionary preposition, it is one of position. Much like how grief is the human brain's response to filling in the gap where there was once a reliable part of their life, laughter is its response to filling in the gap between the original understanding of an idea and the new one. Almost every joke. Works on some variant of this model. This is part of why comedy degrades over time and distance. The shared understanding of the world changes as you travel and as society moves on. Jokes that still work over these differences are ones that are either universal (see Mr. Bean and its many innovations on “man falls down”), reflect human nature (Jerome K. Jerome's inability to wake up in the morning in Three Men in a Boat), or are set up and paid off by the piece itself. See Groucho Marx and his wonderful dog joke. It's too dark to read! I know that sounds very academic, but the important takeaway is this. A joke is about showing your thought process to an audience, getting them on board with it, and then subverting it. So when you find something funny, no matter what that is or how strange and personal you think it may be, I assure you. If you can show your thought process to your audience, you can make them laugh about it too. **MAX KREISKY:** Humor writing is a skill like any other type of writing. It's not divinely imbued. It's not even particularly difficult compared to other types of writing. But what it does require, more so than any other form of fiction writing is a willingness to be vulnerable and to collaborate not just with your actors and sound designer, but with the audience themselves. While we always want to test our writing, no matter the genre, to get feedback and refine it to see if it works, to convey what is in our hearts, let's face it. You can never be quite sure if a story is actually working. Comedy is different. You have to bring those jokes in front of an audience. Did they laugh? Then it works. Did they not? Then you need to keep tweaking it or throw it out and write a new joke that does work. I hope so far I've at least convinced you that you can write comedy. Now I want to tell you why you should. Remember that thing I said earlier about vulnerability? I believe that comedy is the most vulnerable art form. Showing someone what scares you, what makes you angry, what makes you sad. If someone doesn't feel the same way, or thinks it's silly, those aren't emotions most of us like feeling anyway. Showing them what gives you joy? Being told that it isn't funny or is inappropriate or makes you a bad person in some way? That's scary. It can make you feel like you can't trust your own joy, like you can't access that happiness in life securely. After all, isn't there little enough joy to go around right now? Can you risk losing some of it? That is exactly why you need to share it. **MAX KREISKY:** When you write comedy, you cannot hide behind what you think other people will like or what you think should make people laugh because that won't be funny. You have to write something that makes you laugh first and then get other people to laugh at it too to bring them into your joy. Comedians talk about how they get hooked on their first laugh. It's not just because it makes them feel powerful or important, though yes, there are comedians who do make that mistake. It's because it makes you feel powerfully connected to everyone who laughed. That feeling of connection is what our species is made for. We are a social animal. We travel in herds. We cooperate. That's why we laugh at all bond together. Beyond just the philosophical reasons, here are some reasons why making comedy is good for your writing on a practical scale. It encourages brevity and clarity. A joke gets exponentially funnier the fewer words that you use to tell it, and in order to bring people into your mind and set up that expectation you want to reverse, you have to be exceptionally clear in what you're communicating. And the shorter you get, the more careful you have to be about word choice, delivery, timing all of which are the fundamental building blocks of audio drama. Writing comedy is powerlifting for the muscles that let you inject meaning in the air around your words. When you go back to writing anything else, you'll have developed a better understanding of how to get someone to hear what you're saying without even saying it. It makes you think really, really hard about what information that characters and thus the audience have. **MAX KREISKY:** Three: It shows you that you can be your most vulnerable self in front of people, and bring that back to the rest of your writing. It'll help you with your pacing. Jokes need room to breathe, but they also need to heighten and grow as the story proceeds, just like the stakes of your story do. Put the jokes into your story and listen to the audience. Are they getting worn out? Your story needs to pick up. Are they missing things? You need to slow down. Are the laughs getting bigger and louder? Your stakes are heightening, just \[unclear\]. The number one reason why you should write comedy though? We need more of it. Audio drama is perfectly suited for comedy and yet it makes up a very small sliver of what's being made today. If you want to listen to more comedy. You can listen to Crowley Time. You can listen to We Fix Space Junk. You can listen to Death by Dying. And you can listen to the best one, True Tales of the Illuminati, which is mine. For each one of these titles, or the many other great comedy pods out there, there are dozens and dozens of found footage horror stories. And look, those are great but we need variety. Flood the market, give comedy fans more to sink their teeth into. Fans make more fans, and then you have a bunch more people looking for comedy in the first place. And for me, the reason I got into comedy in the first place is that I love to laugh. So make me laugh. Here's an exercise you can try at home. Take a piece of paper and divide it into fourths. Label one section love. One hate. **MAX KREISKY:** One fear and one excited. In each of these segments, jot down a few things you love, hate, fear or are excited by. Then, take one of these and think about why you feel that way. Now, see if you can write a joke that expresses how you feel without directly saying it. Send it in we'll produce them and put them in our next issue. So go. Make some comedy. *\[The music plays out, ending on a chime sting.\]* **Jordan:** Thank you, Max. Also, big scoop. True Tales of the Illuminati Season 3 coming this November. You heard it here first. And as Max said, we're looking for your short comedy pieces. Follow the instructions in his editorial and email them to us at mailearwax@gmail.com, and we'll publish them in an upcoming episode. # **\[00:16:16\] Professor Van Dreason Discusses Open Mike Eagle’s Doomed** *\[Classroom sounds: a scratching noise, like writing on a chalkboard.\]* **JEFF VAN Dreason:** \[Good\] morning, class. All right, settle down. Yep, cool it, cool it, settle down. Welcome to week three. If you reference your syllabus, you can see we're going to be discussing our latest text, Open Mike Eagle's collaboration with Kenny Segal: Doomed. This came out in August, so it's nice and fresh, with dusty loops and subtle jazz production by Segal. Now, who can tell me the subtitle of this text? \[Pause\] *\[A jazzy saxophone loop plays.\]* **Jeff:** Very good, Wendell. Songs About a Relationship That Ends in Every Possible Universe. In this text, Open Mike Eagle explores the possibility of hopelessness that comes in the wake of a bond that once felt freeing, which in of itself is an oxymoron. Destined not to work, it feels like not only is the relationship over, but every aspect of his life has shifted. Can someone point to an example of how Open Mike demonstrates this in the text? \[Pause\] Good. The title track is a perfect example. How would you cite this text for the class? *\[A clip of the title track “Doomed” plays: rap vocals over the beat (lyrics not transcribed).\]* **Jeff:** Here we can see that it's not just one relationship, it's everything. From Mike's old childhood home to his barber to, later, his primary care physician, his life is upended and it all feels fated. Beyond that, he has to see movies by himself. He saw Superman by himself. Bugonia, Weapons, The Phoenician Scheme — he saw \[unclear\] by himself, class. How does he feel about breakups and seeing movies by himself? \[Pause\] *\[Saxophone music plays.\]* **Jeff** Yes. Breakups are ass. It's fucked up. It's ass. Shit fucking sucks. Good. Good job, class. Good discussion. Now, to go deeper on this text for homework, we're going to assign one of Open Mike Eagle's influences and a namesake for this album. Please study up on Doom for our next class meeting. You'll pick up the discussion with Professor Morris. Please be prepared for the test. Class dismissed. *\[Horn-led music plays the segment out.\]* # **\[00:19:16\] Sad Girl Summer, Part 1: Roundtable** *\[Chime transition.\]* **Jordan:** Now, part one of our roundtable discussion on Sad Girl Summer, featuring Adam Cecil, B. Lidstone, Oliver Morris, Jordan Stillman, Jeff Van Driesen, and Charli XCX expert Wil Williams. *\[Crosstalk as the recording starts.\]* **JEFF VAN Dreason** So, to give you a bit of a breakdown, we're talking about three albums. We're going to start with June with Olivia Rodrigo's You Seem Pretty Sad for a Girl So in Love. And then we're gonna go to July. We had Charli XCX's Music, Fashion, Film. And then August, we have Phoebe Bridgers' Lost Weekend. Man, that's a sad album, but we'll get to that in a second. I'm going to start with Olivia Rodrigo. I really have liked Olivia Rodrigo. I think her music is very good, I think she's a very good artist. But I think this is her best album and I think it's grappling with some, I know. Well, that's just me. You guys can have your own take. I think it's grappling with some more sophisticated stuff than what she's done in the past. **Jordan** I really liked I liked her last two albums. I but like I there's something special about this one, I think. Like, it's it's without a doubt her best album in terms of just like lyricism and arrangements and like the Exploration of different emotions. She's really becoming the musician she's meant to be. You know, because she started so young. She's written about. **JEFF:** of someone who's been dumped and had her heart broken kind of maybe been cheated on, but maybe not cheated, but close to it. And this album, first of all, the sequencing is perfect. It's a concept album. She's taking you through this relationship. And in the beginning, she's describing it like she's sick, like she's love sick. And the sickness theme carries through the album until things go bad. And this time when they go bad, she realizes she's the problem, not him. And also that maybe relationships aren't the thing that is gonna fix her like she once thought they did. And that's where I think the maturity kinda comes into play. Totally. The whole album is like exploring the beginning and end of something. Like **Jordan:** It's exploring how she's outgrowing this relationship that it's not a good fit for her, and like her realizing that. I also just love an upbeat song that's like devastating, and there's plenty on this album. Like What's Wrong With Me, which she she does with, um Robert Smith of The Cure devastates me every time I hear it. It's a song that's exploring the idea that, like, we're not meant to be together. Like, I feel awful. And I think it's actually because we're together. I think it's because of you. Like it specifically is what she said. I think you're what's wrong with me. Right. And it. I know. **WIL WILLIAMS:** That is like a very mature sentiment in itself of like. You are the problem, and I hate that, and that hurts me. I don't want that to be the problem. **JEFF:** This one sounds the most unique. The other ones are really rooted in either ballads or like a pop punk kind of sound. There's none of that here. There's lots of eighties kind of like sound to it, which is interesting because no one's doing that right now. Everybody's into the nineties. Yeah. At first it kinda put me off. I love a good Paramore hook as much as anybody. But like this is completely a left turn and I think it really works. Can we talk about “Purple” for a second? Yes. **Jordan** She's like, I visited your town like a tourist. And then now I've got a local grocery store and a favorite florist. And it's just like the lyricism in this album. This song is also the turning point. I have the beginning is like love sick and the end is like just…depression. **JEFF: T**his is what I mean about the sequencing. It's smack dab in the middle of the album. And it's, what is it, 13 tracks? So it's the outlier. It's like right at the center. And some of the lyrics are talking about, you know, you're red and my blue. Combine to make purple, right? And it's like the red is the love for sadness, and this album is sequence one side is being. So in love. Second side. You Seem Pretty Sad. Just like the Ars Paradoxica logo. Oh my god, yes! Literally, yes. \[Crosstalk\] I love it. That's why we have Wil Williams here. Just like the Ars Paradoxica logo. **OLIVER MORRIS:** I think I described it to you Bee as baby's first Reckoning with I might be the problem in the relationship. *\[Laughter.\]* **OLIVER MORRIS:** Yes. The I think I think for me, one of my favorite songs was uh if leaving me's what you have to do because you love me. I kinda wish you loved me less. I love you so much. I love seeing your baby pictures. I love this. I love that. I hate all the other girls. And then purple happens. And then you get uh the the The Cure. “The Cure,” that's it, yeah. And then it gets really introspective and really interesting. And again, that sort of deconstruction of persona of the all-American girl. I'll say that **BEE LIDSTONE:** This album Everything that I once wanted from a Taylor Swift album. **Oliver**:Oh, real. **Bee**: Listening to this album the first time that I listened to it, I was transported back to being 22 years old and being the sad, chaotic little mess that I was. And it is an amazing Brilliant album. It's hyper pop and it reminds me of like bubble blowers and going out on a night out, getting drunk, crying in the toilets. And then listening to an entire album on the night bus home. Oh, real, yep. Like that is that is the vibe of this entire album, you know, and as you said with purple and then it kind of like drips down into being real. That's the point of the night where you're like, oh God, what have I done? You start sobering up, yes. And you start to then become very introspective. The Cure is my favourite song on the album. And I I think that is because it's it's that moment where she's sitting there and she's going, What's the lyric? It's it doesn't matter how your love feels anymore, it'll never be the Cure. And it's going, no, yeah, no, I'm I'm I'm I'm messy, I'm screwing everything up, and maybe I need to take a step back. **ADAM CECIL:** It’s pop but it doesn’t feel manufactured off of that pipeline. It doesn't feel like she was made in a factory. Because if you were making a pop star in a factory, you would never be like, oh, yeah. And she loves Robert Smith from the \[unclear\]. Yeah. I love this album in particular because it really feels like she's starting to pull in those. Or Older influences, more esoteric influences. And some of the stuff on this record, I feel like, is some of the best indie rock songs I've heard this year. No shade to everyone who loves Westside Cowboy or whatever. But like, you know, she could kill a classic alt-pop indie rock record if she wanted to. **JEFF:** Well, let's move on to Charli XCX. Because first of all. This is not Charli XCX's only album that she's released this year. This is her second, \[unclear\] if you count it. And I really liked the first album. I liked Wuthering Heights. This is considered more of her Brat follow-up, I think, because it's not a soundtrack album. It is a statement, I think, from Charli XCX. I kind of view it as a statement that's a bit coming off anti-Brat being basically like, oh, you want Brat too? Well, fuck you. You're not going to get it. And I like that. I like it too. Let's turn to the resident Charli XCX expert, Wil XCX to see what they think. I love Brat. **WIL WILLIAMS:** Despite being a huge Charli XCX fan, I had never done a full chronological discography listen through. Oh wow. I started from her very first album all the way through. And I do definitely think that on one hand, This is a big “you're not getting Brat 2.” And on the other hand, I think that for a lot of us who have been around for a while, Charli's music seems to go through kind of cycles. Jumping off of Olivia Rodrigo in this album, Charli, I feel like. Kind of hit. The culmination of everything that she's been working towards musically. With Brat. And this seems like a very much uh like the response is kind of like. Well fuck, now what? Now, what am I supposed to do? From what I've heard, her life during Brat was extremely difficult, and she did not like enjoy that process. I think kind of all of it was like really, really, really hard for her. **JEFF:** You mean like blowing up or do you mean before or when she was making it? Like getting huge and successful? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. **JORDAN::** The mega massive fame. Cause like Charli XCX was famous, was famous before Brat, but like not whatever this is. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact that Brat has on it. **WIL WILLIAMS:** A line about like not knowing if she even wants commercial success at this point, and this is the album that did it. The irony. Right. And so I feel like Music, Fashion, Film is a little bit of a fuck you to people who came in at Brat and are expecting her to do Brat. But I also feel like to those of us who've been around for a while, it's very much in conversation with Brat. Very much. I think that even Conceptually, Music, Fashion, Film. Is inherently bratty. It's a big fuck you. I mean, it starts with, um, with rock music and her saying like, oh, the dance floor is dead, which people apparently took very seriously. Like people thought that she wasn't joking? **JEFF:** It's a dance album. Like, I mean, yes, it's got guitars. **WIL WILLIAMS**: She’s Charli XCX!**JEFF**: Yeah, I mean, like, that whole thought process. I mean, my brother said that to me. It's my still a dance album. My brother's a huge fan of hers, and he's a gay man. He's like, I guess she's done with it. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, clearly, it's dance. No, like, yeah. **WIL WILLIAMS:** I'm sorry, if you know anything about Charli XCX, it's that you know that she's funny as fuck. Like she is going to be hilarious and she is. Wink wink. Uh is her the whole is her being like, I'm a good girl now. I'm a good girl now. I just said those things to be provocative, right? Um, that's hilarious. # **\[00:30:00\] Patreon Break** *\[Whoosh transition with a radio-style effect.\]* **OLIVER MORRIS:** Hi, it's Ollie here, your resident \[unclear\] at EarWax. Just here to let you know that, as always, we have a Patreon, and that you can go onto that Patreon and become a patron. Our Patreon is EarWax Magazine. You can also put an ad right here, where I'm speaking, if you have the money and you ask Jeff. We have a number of tiers suited to your \[unclear\] desires. Come, give us some money, help us keep the lights on. You know the drill. You've been listening to us. *\[Music plays.\]* # **\[00:30:49\] Five Comedy Audio Fiction Funnies** **JORDAN:** Now, here's five comedy audio fiction funnies for your listening pleasure. *\[Upbeat electronic music plays.\]* **HANNAH WRIGHT:** I'm gonna be real with you, Jeff. This is an entirely new space and I haven't unpacked anything, so I have no idea how this sounds. I also haven't unpacked my headphones, so… Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason. What is the funniest audio drama? Everyone has a different opinion, and everyone is wrong, unless they agree that the answer is Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason. Jeremy Ellett takes an inherently ridiculous concept and makes it even more ridiculous. Multi-level marketing, hive mind, the ghost of Sir Isaac Newton, a man turning into an owl monster. How do you take a concept steeped in a very sad truth, that most people are radicalized through desperation and loss. And make it funny. I don't know, but Jeremy Ellett did the dang thing. I have a fan-made bumper sticker of this show, I like it so much. Go listen immediately. **OLIVER MORRIS:** Gay Future. Gay Future describes itself as not just an assault on the YA genre. But a disgrace to the very concept of words, being as it is allegedly written by Mike Pence from its banging EDM opening to its straight protagonist. Gay Future is funny, charming, and gay as hell. I think what I enjoy about it is its chill, naturalistic delivery of dialogue, its dynamic sound design and music, and the world it creates. A terrified homophobe who knows a little too much about the culture. It's also got Ayo Edebiri in it, which is kind of dope. She plays Chad, and I remember at the time when I first heard it being like, oh, this is this actor is really, really funny. I think there's too many footsteps though, which I think is indicative of a larger problem, which is its cinematic style. Less is definitely more when it comes to sound design sometimes. Too much sonic information can distract from the larger piece. Still, a rip-roaring time from the heady days of 2019, and listenable in an afternoon. So go listen to it. You've got an afternoon. **RHANNA STEPHENSON:** Fawkes and Stallion will make you look at Baker Street in a whole new way. This comedy series follows the adventures of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson's neighbors, Underdog detectives Hampton Fawkes and Madge and James Stallion. Their luck changes when Holmes is out of town and they're asked to save a woman's life, except they're kind of hopeless. If that's not enough, season two includes the famous detective duo themselves. And it's thrilling, heartwarming, sometimes devastating and drop dead funny. **ADAM CECIL:** This Is Branchburg. Is it hyperbole to say that nothing has captured the unique otherworldliness of the American suburbs and comedy better than This Is Branchburg? Probably, but it is the kind of show that inspires breathless praise. Once you've heard This is Branchburg and fallen in love with it, you'll need everyone else in your life to follow suit. It's a shame, really, that there's no late-night programming block for podcasts, because This is Branchburg would be best stumbled upon after midnight, well, a little high, letting the soft absurdity of this New Jersey town and its bizarre residence break through your haze and enthrall your ears. “This is the funniest thing in the world,” you would whisper to yourself. “Everyone needs to know.” **JORDAN STILLMAN:** To listen to Wooden Overcoats is to love it. The sitcom follows two rival funeral parlours on the dreary island village of Piffling Vale, pitting the miserable and often blundering twins Rudyard and Antigone Funn against the seemingly perfect and dazzling newcomer Eric Chapman. The premise is both nonsensical and utterly captivating with a peculiar cast of delightful and freaky little weirdos living out unexpected twists and turns. The writing is wry, peppered with fast-paced quips witty wordplay and a dash of innuendo, delivered by an outstanding cast with impeccable timing. The show is a contemplation on the absurdity of the mundane juxtaposing the somber and the silly within a rich tapestry of some of the best voices in audio fiction. # **\[00:35:05\] Review: Depressed Horse** *\[An announcement over what sounds like a school PA system.\]* **PA ANNOUNCER:** Depressed Horse, report to the principal's office immediately. Again, can I have Depressed Horse? Report to the principal's office immediately. Thank you. **JEFF VAN DREASON:** Depressed Horse. Hmm. Um, well, I'll say this for Depressed Horse. It made me feel depressed. I don't think that was the goal though. Then again, I don't know if it has a goal. I don't know what it is, but I'm not even sure it knows what it is. BoJack Horseman spoof? A reason for its admittedly fun and catchy theme song to exist? *\[Low, sonar-like pinging tones play in the background through much of the review.\]* **JEFF** A bet between friends with senses of humor that… Exist? Here's a setup for every episode of Depressed Horse, a theme song that runs longer than the actual content of the episode. Then it abruptly cuts off short. Although in some episodes it plays for longer. Then there's some poorly edited sound effects, things like a horse galloping or the sound of a ticking clock. We're in a therapist's office therapist asked the patient a question. The patient answers, referencing his dream about a horse. The theme song kicks back in the show is over. Now keep in mind I was listening to this on a platform that had ads. Ads at the beginning, ads at the end. In the case of every episode except for maybe one or two, the ads were longer than the actual content of the show. I could argue that it's an audio fiction equivalent of a botched knock-knock joke, but that's doing botched knock-knock jokes a disservice. It just feels like it exists for the ads at the beginning and the end. But the idea that this thing is getting monetized seems downright insane to me. There's no characters, no growth, no story, just this weird setup and... Punchline, I guess? \[Unclear\] land like pianos in the middle of the ocean. Noisy, meaningless sound, swallowed by the waves before you can even register the crashing chords. My advice? You'd spend your time better listening to a therapist or nearly anything else. In a lot of ways, this episode is about comedy and the theme of it is kind of got a back to school vibe. I would call the Depressed Horse the class clown, but again clowns are funny. **JEFF:** Instead, I'm gonna stick the Depressed Horse in the corner wearing the dunce cap. \[Unclear\] believe people actually made kids wear dunce caps back in the day. That's horrific and also very funny. I'm sorry, Depressed Horse. You're a dunce. Wear your cap. Part of me wants to recommend it just so other people can have insight into what I'm talking about. It's that insane. I admire it almost for how galling it is. There's very little there. It exists despite itself. Is it a comedy? I guess. Is it funny? No. What's it doing? I have no clue. What's the point? I don't think it has one. It's mystifying. And that makes it feel like I'm praising it when I don't mean to be. I don't think it knows at all what its purpose is. And you know, I'm sure that there's a clever person out there who would say that's the point. I don't think it's the point. I don't think a point exists. I think the only point is the point at the top of the dunce cap it's wearing in the corner of my classroom. Class dismissed, except for you, Depressed Horse. You have detention. *\[A clock ticks, followed by typing on a keyboard.\]* *\[Ambient piano and synth music plays.\]* *\[A bell rings, like a school bell.\]* # **\[00:40:00\] Professor Morris Discusses MF Doom** **OLIVER MORRIS:** Okay class, settle down, settle down, settle down. *\[A hip-hop beat plays under the lecture, with snippets of rapped vocals.\]* **OLIVER MORRIS:** Now you'll notice the cobwebs in the corner of the classroom. That's cause we're going old school. Get it? Now, show of hands. Who knows the villain with a metal face? Well it's more of you than I expected. Now Professor Van Dreason extols the new and novel, but you gotta know your roots and the roots is Doom. MF Doom made Operation Doomsday on a borrowed Akai MPC drum machine once a week while crashing at his friend's house. Why? Because the other six days he was sleeping on benches and hustling to get by. The death of his brother left him traumatized and miserable and twisted him into the villain we know as Doom. Doom's style is a slick stream of consciousness flow containing oblique and obscure references, layers of rhymes and wordplay that sort of meld into a word salad. An example of this is rhymes like dimes. Is he referring to selling rhymes like dime bags of weed? Is he referring to the fact that his rhymes are a perfect 10? Who knows? Probably both. We simply don't have time to get that deep into it, but if we wanted to, this whole album could be a syllabus in and of itself. The beats, sampled, as I said, with an MPC, use loops and licks from various soul and smooth records, including my personal favourite, Gastros, which used a sample of Stevie Dan's Black Cow. For additional reading, you can listen to mine and Professor Van Driesen's symposium, Any Major Dudes. We simply don't have time to get that deep into it, but if we wanted to, this whole album could be a syllabus in and of itself. The beats, sampled, as I said, with an MPC, use loops and licks from various soul and smooth records, including my personal favorite, “Gas Drawls,” which used a sample of Steely Dan's “Black Cow.” For additional reading, you can listen to mine and Professor Van Driesen's symposium, Any Major Dudes. **OLIVER MORRIS:** But that's not what makes the work great. What makes the work great is the joy and love he has for the mic, the music, the nostalgia of old cartoons. His music is great in spite of hardships, not because. Get that Protestant puritanical thinking out of here right now. This album is rich, \[unclear\], and gives you plenty to come back to. So I suggest you start listening so you can fully absorb it. Class dismissed. # **\[00:42:30\] For Further Reading: Best New Songs of August** **JEFF VAN DREASON:** Okay class, for further reading, I'm suggesting you head to the EarWax Patreon, where you can find an extensive list of bang new tracks from August. There's some no-brainers here, like engaging new treatises from Erykah Badu's collaboration with The Alchemist, but those who are really interested in discovering the best new music around, you'll find more than 20 songs of bliss to impress your new classmates. Case in point: “17” by Teals, a song so funky and fun, you'll forget it's about an underage affair that leads to murder. Here's a short sample. *\[Clip: “17” by Teals plays (lyrics not transcribed).\]* **JEFF:** Need something with a harder edge? Check out the K-pop punk band Sailor Honeymoon with their cut “Bad Apple.” *\[Clip: “Bad Apple” by Sailor Honeymoon plays (lyrics not transcribed).\]* **JEFF** Finally, have you heard the new Wishy single? I bet you wishy you did. Yeah. Okay, yeah, all right, class. They can't all be winners, all right? Give it a listen and find the rest of this dope mix on our Patreon. You won't be disappointed, and it'll help you get some bonus points on the test. *\[Clip: the new Wishy single plays.\]* *\[Chime transition.\]* # **\[00:45:29\] Sad Girl Summer, Part 2: Roundtable** **JORDAN STILLMAN:** Now, part two of our roundtable discussion of Sad Girl Summer. **OLIVER MORRIS:** I think as well, the reason that it's sort of spelt out in sort of text rather than subtext is that she has a real message for her fans, which is kind of leave me alone. Like, like, I think one of the last songs is about how. There's the image of her and then there's the I can't remember what the name of it is. Sounds like “Wink Wink \[unclear\]” or something like this. Yes, yeah. Yeah, it's wink wink. Wink wink. Yes. Where it's like, I'm the bad girl, wink, wink. Like, come on, it's a game, guys. You must understand. I'm not actually like this. I'm in my 30s. I'm married. Like, I'm not a perpetual party girl anymore. And. **BEE LIDSTONE:** That song is so funny. It's very good. Yeah, it's catchy too. It's like, I mean, there's actually quite a few songs on this album that are clearly taking a right turn away from the sound that was her, you know, mainstream commercial breakout. You know, she's very clearly trying to do something different and challenging to her audience. But at the same time, I feel like some of these songs are like the poppiest songs she's ever written. I kind of love how vacuous it is. Like there's a vacuity. There's a sort of. **OLIVER MORRIS:** 'Cause I watched the the the video of it as well, so I watched the film version. And when I watched the film version, they would do things where it's like the song that always occurs to me is Camera. Bit before the video starts, where Charli XCX is going, like, well, it's about cameras and it's about how they sort of take an image of you and it sort of stops in time and it's sort of Project onto it and all that. And then the song kind of goes. I like how a camera stops time and projects an image onto you. It's like there's no there's no subtext, it's all just kind of text. **BEE LIDSTONE:** telling your audience Multiple times. Well what they're listening to or what the the context or subtext is because you know that they're going to be watching Instagram reels or TikToks or something like that. And also it's it's it's creating those little sound bites for Instagram reels and TikToks and things. So that's what uh that's what I view that as. But that's the that's the that's the pessimist and the Um you know like, like, I'm expecting the world to be burning because it is. **OLIVER MORRIS:** in me. Like there's there's no sort of there's no room for interpretation. Yeah. **ADAM CECIL:** There's no room for interpretation, but also she's an artist who is perpetually misinterpreted. So yeah, it's hard to avoid that. But it's, I think that's, you know, like that first single, like rock music that came out where it's just like, oh, everyone was losing their Goddamn mind over like, what does it mean? Like, you know, and it's just like, actually, I think. **WIL WILLIAMS:** One of the things that I really love about Music, Fashion, Film in comparison to Brat is, first off, again, like this general fuck you attitude. And I also love something that I think is super special that I haven't seen anybody talk about with this album is on Brat. She has the song “So I,” which is a posthumous tribute to SOPHIE, who she worked with very, very closely and clearly **JEFF VAN DREASON::** Had a very deep friendship with **WIL WILLIAMS:** Wanted to have said these things when she was alive. And then on Music, Fashion, Film, talking about her producer that she always worked with, A. G., we have “Magic Metal Montana,” which is Tribute to him while he is here and alive, and her saying, I love this about you. I love this about you. I love this. That's a really nice. **JEFF:** There's a couple more things points that I think have more in common. Then people are kind of giving it credit for. I really like camera and I like camera because a lot of people are like, oh, she's acting now, whatever. Like, and she's like, yeah, I'm acting now because it's the only way I can not be me. It's like, oh man. Yeah. And that, that to me, it's devastating, but it's also real. And it also feels a little bit like that sort of the insecurity that she's always had all her. Especially on you know, stuff like \[unclear\], or songs on Brat — Brat's such a powerhouse that you forget how real she's being around it and how much she's being kind of confessional and vulnerable. And I think that Yes, she's still being cheeky because she is who she is, but she's still got these songs in there where she's just like... Yeah, you might hate it, but fuck it, I'm gonna do it because it's me and also this is why, right? Like she'll she'll kind of like sucker punch you a bit with her vulnerability. Totally. And I feel like that totally pulls through on Music, Fashion, Film. **WIL WILLIAMS:** Like, easily the most real song on this album, and I would argue one of the most real songs she's ever done. Is this discussion of what your legacy means as an artist? And she interviewed. David Cronenberg for it, and it ends with a sample of him talking about a near-death experience. And she had asked him, I presume, were you th what about your art was thinking like what were you thinking about in this moment potentially before you die, your life is flashing before your eyes. What did you think about your legacy? And he was like, I didn't. This I was thinking about the people that I love, and it ends on this rumination that, like, the artists. Do not experience their legacy. They are dead. They are gone. The legacy is for everybody else. I think having that as the sort of bookend. On this reflection of easily her most famous and commercially successful album is um again, very sweet and it it's it feels Freeing to me to hear as somebody who is like an artist and a creator. Which leads us to the saddest of the sad girls, I would argue. **OLIVER MORRIS:** Phoebe Bridgers, Lost Weekend. Phoebe's going through it. **BEE LIDSTONE::** Phoebe's definitely going through it. Phoebe is going through it in a big way. She's going through it. She's feeling the big feelings. This feels very Bo Burnham. If you listen to Inside and then you listen to this album… And that it is very interesting because Bo Burnham is on the album. He's credited he's he's credited with songwriting credits as well as with um Um his voice is in uh a couple of the songs as well. Um, you know, \[unclear\]. Um so it's very interesting. The For me, as a Bo Burnham fan, I have definitely seen that this is more of his album than hers. I think she's someone who is **ADAM CECIL::** Improved by collaborating with others. She has her distinct voice and she has her point of view. And that never gets lost in these collaborations. And I think one, like she's her at her best sometimes when she's really in a deep collaboration. And two, I think she brings out the best in other songwriters as well. Conor Oberst is a great example, I think, where he was really lost before that and a bit lost after that. But that record is something really special. And, you know, there's something interesting there too, where. You know, she's Romantically involved with a lot of these male collaborators as well. But a lot of great music is made from people who are romantically involved, as we know. So, so yeah, I don't know. I feel like the bigger problem I have with this record is that she just kind of forgot to write songs in there.. **JEFF:** It’s a very emotionally complex album. That I think that you end up feeling a bit lost in. Like, I have a hard time pinning it down and getting a clear read on it. And I think other people do too. And I don't think that makes it bad. **JORDAN:** I just, it kind of feels a little spectral. So I'm, I'm a huge fan. I love, I loved Phoebe's other two albums. I love all of the boys, all the, the, the boygenius boys. I'm on board. Uh, and so I was really. Really excited to. I wasn't paying attention. So I was like, when I found out this album was coming out last month, I was like, oh, wait, what? And so I've been, you know I all all the other boys have come out with albums, but um not Phoebe yet. And so I was really excited to hear this. It picks up where she left off. Like it's very much I feel like thematically still in line with her previous work. But it is exploring a lot of different things and like it's got the killer lyricism that she always has. Um in her in her music. And yeah, I just I sort of just trusted the process. There's so many songs I like off this album. It's a long album. I think that's one of my I think that's one of my problems with it, honestly. 16, 15 tracks. It's a bit overstuffed. And some of them are quite short. And I think you could have lobbed them off. But that's that's just me. It's like, I mean, there's like there's songs like, what is it, like “Lost Parade,” where it's like mostly very like ethereal like **JEFF:** To what I was saying before that adds to the sort of like Goosey, goosey, ghosty vibes, which I don't. I think it does. But at the same time, again, I have a hard time listening to it. And this is not to say it's bad. I have a hard time listening to it all the way through. Because one, it's so long, and two, because it kind of unsettles me. It's unsettling. It is unsettling. It's like really wistful and just like. **JORDAN:** introspective and reflective. The it comes away unsettling not just from the lyrics but like the composition itself is unsettling. And I believe that is intentionally so. Yeah. **WIL WILLIAMS:** I think she's I mean she's always had. A very strange, unsettling vibe. I think “I Know the End” is like a perfect culmination of that. This album for me, I'm not gonna lie, it really did not land. I think part of this, Jeff, is because I also have the same problem. I listened to albums the first time the whole way through. And for me. I being a Charli person, I'm used to artists having very different sort of like not quite concept albums, but different concepts for their albums? Um you know, piece to piece. And for me, it just felt a little bit too Punisher 2\. It felt like they could have fit just fine on Punisher, but to me, Punisher is a perfect album. There are some tracks I really loved, and they're the ones that usually take some big differences. Like Governor's Waltz, I think, is gorgeous. Lyrics remain incredible. And I do think that overall, this is a much darker, stranger album that I think Hopefully will grow on me. **JORDAN:** My initial read on it was like a little bit like, oh. But like I've been listening to it a lot. And I the more I listen to it, the more I like it. And there's just like different things that get like stuck. In my head, like, uh, this is gonna kill me. Wait, like, that line is just like burrowing in my head. Um and I just can't stop thinking about it. *\[Brass music transition, ending with a mechanical click.\]* # **\[00:57:08\] Wrap-Up** **JEFF VAN DREASON:** And that's a wrap on EarWax Volume 1, Issue 3\. Thank you so much for listening. We're gonna end this episode with another Run for Cover cover battle, this time with a song by the \[unclear\] Dolly Parton. We're gonna begin with the original song by her, “Coat of Many Colors,” and then transition to a cover by Sierra Ferrell. Please stick around for the credits. And class dismissed. # **\[00:57:28\] Run for Cover: “Coat of Many Colors” (Dolly Parton original)** *\[Dolly Parton’s original recording of “Coat of Many Colors” plays (lyrics not transcribed).\]* # **\[00:58:47\] Credits** **Jordan:** Issue 3 of EarWax Magazine was written by Jeff Van Driesen, Adam Cecil, Neil Johnson, B. Lidstone, Oliver Morris, Rihanna Stevenson, Jordan Stillman, Hannah Wright, and Wil Williams. “Starbucks in Blue,” written and produced by T.H. Ponders. Editorial on comedy and audio fiction by Max Kreisky. Produced and scored by Oliver Morris. Huge thank you to Max, and remember to check out True Tales of the Illuminati Season 3, coming around Thanksgiving. Sonic branding, artwork and transition sound effects by Neil Johnson. Other segments produced by Jeff Van Driesen and Oliver Morris. Music by Neil Johnson, Oliver Morris, and Jeff Van Driesen. We need your support. Patreon at patreon.com/earwaxmagazine. You'll get access to bonus playlists, audio fiction recommendations, and more. Visit us at earwaxmag.com to subscribe to our newsletter, and check out our social media pages on Instagram, Bluesky, and Tumblr. Check out our other shows on this feed, including Infinite Mixtape, Drama Club, and Any Major Dudes. New episodes release every Wednesday. EarWax Magazine is a Third Site Media production. # **\[01:00:08\] Run for Cover: “Coat of Many Colors” (Sierra Ferrell cover)** *\[Sierra Ferrell’s cover of “Coat of Many Colors” plays, including a yodeled passage (lyrics not transcribed).\]* # **\[01:00:32\] Outtake** **JORDAN:** You can hear my cat going absolutely nuts. Franklin, stop it! You're ruining my recording! *\[A synth sting, then the recording ends.\]*